ليه لماذا نذاكر ؟

خلاص المذاكره مقطعه بعضها و حنقطع الكتب و نعمل بالورق محشى و نكله هم هم هم ... كنت عيان فرحت اكشف عند الدكتور فلقيت الولد ده اللى فى ثانويه فى العياده جايب معاه الكتب علشان مايضيعش وقت ... خلاص بقينا فى الامتحانات و كل دقيقه ... لأ كل ثانيه و فيمتو ثانيه ممكن تغير مستقبلنا ... اصلهم لسه ماشفوش حاجه ... خلص يابنى الثانويه ديه و ابقى وارينى ازاى حتخش الكليه اللى انت عاوز تخشها ... اه سوررى ... نسيت اللى انت زى زمايلك مش عارفين لسه عاوزين تدخلوا ايه ... انا برضه كنت زيكم كده بالظبط ... ياله ... خلاص هانت ... وتطلعوا كلكم من الشطار الاوائل إن شاء الله و تفرحوا ماماهتكم و باباهتكم و المجتمع كله ... و تتفوقوا كمان فى الكليه و متبقوش عواطل ... ايه يابنى! ... عاوز تعرف يعنى ايه عواطل؟ ... عواطل جيه من العطول ... و مصدرها عطل ... زى العطل الفنى... أو العطل الميكانيكى ... روحت مره عند الميكانيكى؟ ... لأ ؟ ... مش مهم ... خلينا فى موضوعنا ...هو ايه موضوعنا... يا اخى ناسيتنى ... ياله... هيللى بيللى يا بطاطا فسى يلا يا بطيخ و ربنا يوفقك يابنى

C

Give me a hug have forgotten the taste of chicken miss you Oh la la dress of Haifaa Wahby fantastic not only the dress Armageddon coming soon Please turn the light on off do not remember if I have put x on the 5th question or not yes no no yes oh no I knew the answer exam was hard hey Sherif Volcano and earthquakes Amr Diab this summer do you think so Global warming Christ the last world war need to buy new white socks black Iran will go to Cilantro then to the Cinema Ps ps ps what is your Name yes you Good night

We are not human anymore

Breaking news : Scientist recently discovered an outbreak of the deadly virus “psychon” in Egypt . Officials say the mode of transmission may be via watching TV especially Al-Jazeera and Al- Arabia , reading newspapers especially Sout El Oma and El Fagr , walking in down town especially in Tahrir and Ramsis , chatting with ordinary people and surfing the net especially in Egyptian blogs. Symptoms are still not clear and include headache , dizziness, deep depression , crying with hallucinations , suicidal attempts and simultaneous diarrhea and constipation .Incubation period may be 3 minutes to 2 hours and authorities say they will never find a vaccine in the near future.

Lina Ahmed Al Fishawy

اوبه... مروه حامل
+

انا نفسى مره اورى الناس إن مش دايما الجواز العرفى بيبقى فاشل و علشان كده حاخد بالى من مروه و البيبى اللى جاى و اتحمل المسئوليه

+

ييييه ، ده انا ماصدقت و التزمت دينيا و قربت اكتر لربنا علشان اتوب تيجى مصيبه مروه ديه و تفضحنى بجلاجل... الناس مش حتسيبنى فى حالى ، هوه ما حدش من صحابى عاوز يروح معايا الجامع نصلى ليه

+
انا بحبك يا مروه بس ماما و بابا بيقولولى انك تدبيسه و حتلزاقيلى و لازم مورطش نفسى مع واحده زيك و إلا حيتبروا منى و مش حبقى خلاص ابنهم طول العمر

-
انا ليه مالبستش توبس ، ده انا اضرب نفسى ميت جازمه لو المرات الجايه مالبستش توبس

+
نفسى اهاجر لجزيره فى اخر الدنيا فيها ناس ماتعرفنيش ، بس مش حاقدر اهرب من هنا علشان الناس هنا كلها عارفانى

+
وا و ... أنا حبقى أب ، معقول حبقى أب ، أنا حاطير من الفرحه يا مروه ، ده انا بموت فى العيال... عاوزه تسمى البيبى ايه

+
بصى يا مروه ، احنا نتجوز رسمى فى السريع و بعدين تولدى عادى ولا من شاف و لا من دارى كإن مافيش حاجه حصلت

+
حرام والله ، بابا و ماما و الناس و الدنيا كلها ضدى ، طب خلاص غلطت و اللى حصل حصل ، نفسى فى حد ، حد واحد بس يقف جانبى ، مش معقول اتحمل نتيجه مجتمع مصرالازدواجي ده لوحدى

+
اوف ، كل الناس عماله تقوللى يا اخى ما كنت تتجوز على اصوله احسن ، طب انسى انى انا مشهور ، انا واحد عادى بحب واحده ، قولت لبابا و ماما انى عاوز اتجوزها ، قالولى انت لسه صغير يا حبيبى ، مش لما تكبر الاول ، و بعدين تلاقى شغل ، و بعدين تجيب شقه ، و بعدين تشوف طلبات عيليتها ، و بعدين ... قولتلهم بس ، كفايه كده ، كل ده علشان اتجوز واحده ، طب انا مش عاوز اتجوز خالص ، خلينى احسن مع السليفيليشان

لقمة القاضى

نا نا نا نا نا

يقدروا يقبضوا على ناس كتير، بس مايقدروش يقبضوا على الشعب كله
السورطه ميس فى خدمه السعب
المصريين: انتم الشريريين
المصريين التانيين:لأ انتم الاشرار
المصريين:لا انت وحش
المصريين التانيين: يعنى انتى حلوه يعنى؟


Egyptian war for stupidity

Kids: We wanna play wawa ai

هوه فيه ايه؟
تتصور معرفش
طب هوه ايه هدفنا؟
برضه معرفش

ID25 : INDEPENDENCE DAY

يبدوا ان هذا القرن اكثر تخلفا من القرن الماضى

ربنا فوق كل شىء

HUS

Today I watched a nice documentary film on AL- Jazeera channel about blogging in Egypt...and how it is a new source of truth in the Egyptian community… a window to the whole world to see what is really happening in Egypt…there are blogs about day-to-day adventures... political issues… religious issues…arts…and personal opinions…nowadays many Egyptian youth in the blogspace are facing dangerous threats and critical obstacles…oooops…have I mentioned that…oh my god...delete this sentence immediately…delete it...too late...has been published

Mission:to enter

A girl wants to find her future husband, what can she do in our society...search in clubs...search in wedding parties...search in Moqatam…search in the college...search in M.E.N-MART...search in the net...mmm...in your dreams...

The girl finds a cute nice guy standing with his friends in the club...she goes to him

Girl: Hi
Boy: yes, hi
Girl: what is your name?
Boy: Ahmed, and you
Girl: Sarah
Boy: nice name Sarah, what do you study
Girl: well...I study...

wiiiiiick....back to reality

Girl: hi
Boy: hmm, hi
Girl: what is your name?
Boy (thinking: who is this silly dumb girl): Ahmed, why?
Girl: ummm...nothing...hummm...ok, my name is Sarah,...
Boy (she is not pretty): ...and????!!!!
Girl: I just wanted...oh..I am so..so...r..r..r

Tries to find someone who may know him, or a closer friend: mission failed: not practical...you will take a long time baby
Tries to tell him in an indirect way, eye contact , nice smile: mission failed: will think you are one of the crazy girls of today
Send him a message that you are interested: mission failed: blah...yuk...who wants to know a girl this way

Immediately join the club of Egyptian bachelors: Mabrooouk: mission accomplished...you are single

878.5

What do you do if you open your computer in the morning and find it another one,yes another display,other programs,most of your data and personal stuff are missing or altered,strange feeling isn't it,today I was speechless,opened my mouth and just stared at the new strange monitor view,wrote these words and shut my computer off

To die

I want to be Superman
to fly away from earth
to fly to outer space
to freedom
to peace
to the infinite place
to leave the wars behind
to leave the grief beside
and leave the mankind

VAGINA CARAMEL

احلى حاجه بعملها فى حياتى هيه المذاكره
بالذات المذاكره قبل امتحانات اخر السنه
ياااه
لذيذ اوى الواحد كده يبقى متشنج و مهيوس
ايوه مهيوس
و مبعصم
البعوص قبل الامتحان عامللى بالذات اكستسى اوس حداشر
انا بذاكر طول النهار
و الليل
و كمان و انا نايم
و انا فى الحمام
و الوقت الوحيد اللى ما بذاكرش فيه هوه و انا بعمل الامتحان
انا مشوفتش حاجه فى الدنيا احلى من المذاكره
المذاكره عامله زى اللبانه
تقعد تمدغها تمدغها تمدغها
و فى الامتحان تعمل بالونه و تفرقعها
كل سنه و انا طيب و عقبال حياتى كلها
ان شاء الله
امتحان

ايوه ... انا محروم و تعبان

بعد لما كل الدنيا باركتنا على فلاحتنا
كان لازم نبعت ببرقيه تهنئه إلى كل من ساهم فى حصول وطنا على المركز الأول

مبروك لمصر
مليون بليون مبروك

xxx

همه دول شبابنا الصاعد
و هوه ده وطنا الواعد

xxx

هيه دى امتنا
و هيه دى تكنولوجيتنا

Ich vermisse dich so sehr

ich könnte tagelang nur

von dir erzählen ohne

deinen namen auch nur

einmal zu erwähnen

nichts ist vergleichbar mit

dem was du gibst mit

dem was du zeigst

und wie du lebst

wie du liebst

.

ich kenne nichts

ich kenne nichts

das so schön ist wie du

.

ich kenne nichts

ich kenne nichts

das so schön ist wie du

.

ich kenne nichts

ich kenne nichts

das so schön ist wie du

.

wie du

.

ich kenne nichts

ich kenne nichts

das so schön ist

.

wie du

.

(There is more to love like this

Love is more then just a kiss)

التقدم لل(ت)خلف

Never-united Arabs league presents

" KILL" SEASON

AWW matches

Egyptian people vs. Egyptian people
Palestinean people vs. Palestinean people
Lebanese people vs. Lebanese people
Iraqi people vs. Iraqi people
Libyan people vs. Libyan people
Algerian people vs. Algerian people
Syrian people vs. Syrian people
Sudanese people vs. Sudanese people
Yemen people vs. Yemen people

...

مش لاقيين شغل

...
و محتاج حد يمسحلى الجزمه
و محتاج حد يفتحلى الكيس فى السوبر ماركت
و محتاج حد يحط الحاجات فى الكيس
و محتاج حد يشيللى الحاجات لغايه العربيه
و محتاج حد يمسحلى شباك العربيه
و محتاج حد يحطلى البنزين فى العربيه
و محتاج حد يسوقلى العربيه
و محتاج حد يشاورلى و انا بركن العربيه
و محتاج حد يكويلى الهدوم
و محتاج حد ينظفلى البيت
و محتاج حد يجيبلى الاكل البيت
و محتاج حد ياخد باله من العيال
و محتاج حد يذاكر للعيال
و محتاج حد يمسكلى الهدوم و انا بقيس
و محتاج حد يدوسلى على زرار الاسانسير
و محتاج حد يقطعلى ورقه الكابينيه وانا طالع من الحمام
...و

Maaaaaaa2 is not water

Students are like a herd of sheep
they do not know where they are going
they like to hear the dog barking
they like to see each other being fatten up
they like to eat and eat and eat and eat
till the butcher comes
gives each of them a barcode
then pick some of them
to be slaughtered

The Da Vinci Code first movie reviews

1) too long
2) the end is very boring
3) the book is much better
4) the performance of Tom Hanks is a flop
5) No chemistry between Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou
6) viewers and critics are not satisfied with the movie
7) the movie is somehow dull

:-( khosara

عندى كرش ... مافتكرش

أنا الآن

فى آخر الزمان

اللى فيه الانسان

من غير عنوان

و بأرخص الاتمان

لا ياعم... لحسن يلبسوها فيه

وانا طالع من حفله" وسط البلد" فى البريك علشان اوصل بنتين الباب كانوا لازم يروحوا لقيت عربيه مسرعه راحت شايله واحده بنت ادامى كانت بتعدى الشارع من الناحيه التانيه...العربيه فرملت متأخر و ماكنتش عارف ان صوت عربيه بتخبط انسان عامله بالظبط زى عربيتين بيخبطوا فى بعض
جريت للبنت اللى اتخبطت و الناس كانت من حولها بتتفرج عليها و لقيتها واقعه فى الارض و الدم كله من تحتيها ومحدش عاوز يجى جنبها
ولقيت بقيت الناس اللى فى الشارع جت علشان تتفرج على البنت اللى اتخبطت

و كل العربيات اللى بتعدى لازم برضه تلقى نظره على الحادثه و توقف الطريق
فقولت للناس انهم يبعدوا من حوليها و يقفوا على الرصيف
و تفحصت البنت اللى اتخبطت بدقه
و عملتلها الاسعافات الاوليه
كانت لسه فى وعيها و بتصرخ : فين مفتاح العربيه ...مفتاح عربيتى وقع...حد يشوف مفتاح العربيه...اااااه....اااااااه
قولتلها حاسسه بأيه
قالتلى انها مش حاسسه بظهرها و لا برجليها
الشرطه و الناس جم و كانوا عاوزين يشيلوها من وسط الطريق و يحطوها عى الرصيف
رحت مزعق فيهم كلهم و قلتلهم محدش يحركها و حتفضل على الوضع ده لغايه ميجى الاسعاف
خليت اتنين من اللى كانوا واقفين يطلبوا الاسعاف و على فكره رقم تليفون الاسعاف 123 علشان لقيت ناس كتير مش عارفه الرقم ده
تأكدت ان حالتها مستقره بس البنت كانت عماله تصرخ من الالم
هدتها و كشفت على ظهرها علشان اشوف عمق الجروح و الكدمات
لقيت الزجاج اللى اتكسر من الخبطه بتاع العربيه راشق فى ظهرها و عماله تخر دم
و انا كنت خايف جدا على ظهرها كونه منطقه فى غايه الحساسيه بس قولتلها ان مفيش اى حاجه
كنا بنحاول نتصل باحد من اصدقاءها بس هى كانت عاوزه نتصل بخاطبها
و لاخاطبها كان بيرد و لا حد من صاحبتها كان بيرد و لا ابوها و لا امها كانوا بيردوا ... فى الوقت ده كان فيه متش الاهلى و الزمالك
حد منهم عرف بعد كده يتصل بخاطبها
لقيت بعد عشرين دقيقه خاطبها و امها بيجروا عليها و امها كانت فى حاله هيستيريه لما شافت الموقف ده و الناس كلها ملمومه و الشرطه واقفه بتتكلم فى الواكى توكى وبتتفرج على بنتها و جت بتصرخ : يااااااااااع ياااااااااااع ... يالاهوى يالاهوى... بنتى بنتى بنتى... ياااااااااع يااااااااااااااااه يااااااااااااااااه... و كانت طبعا حتهجم على بنتها و ممكن تضرها... فقومت من على الارض و مسكت امها و الناس جم علشان يساعدونى و خدوها بعيد عن بنتها و همه بيحولوا يهدوها بس كانت بتضربهم و بتصرخ فى الناس و تقول : يا ولاد الكلب... يا ولاد ال... يا ولاد الكلب سايبينها و بتتفرجوا عليها... يا ولاد ال
فى الوقت ده كنت بحاول اطمن البنت اللى اتخبطت اللى مفيش حاجه لغايه لما عربيه الاسعاف جت بعد نص ساعه و مكانش فيها غير السواق... جاب السرير و لما جه للبنت قولتله لازم نشيلها فى وضعها ده و هيه نايمه على جنبها و كل واحد يمسك من حته... واحد اتنين تلاته هوب... و شلناها على السرير و هنا رحت مستخبى بسرعه فى وسط الناس اللى متجمعه علشان ميحصلش معايه اللى بيحصل دايما فى البلد دي و روحت داخل حفله " وسط البلد " تانى

Wust El Balad

It was one of their best concerts...it was a great cultural event...yesterday I went with my friends to the party in Sakeyt Abd El Meneem Elsawy in Zamalek...their lyrics are original ...their vocals...the way they mix oriental music with modern Egyptian music...raggie...jazz...rock...and chill out
It was so crowded that not all of us had a seat...for me it is better to stand and involve myself in the atmosphere of music
Hany Adel dedicated the song " Soal Wahed " to his love " Hala Shiha "...people were screaming as usual for " Antika "..." Magnoun " was also fabulous...Ismail Fawzy is really talented...Adham El Saeid was a maestro...and Assad Nessim was brilliant in his solo guitar playing...the audience wanted more and more...
Many people want to know why they still do not have a CD after all these years of success...they simply have not gotten a good offer... I can not believe that a precious outstanding Egyptian band like Wust El Balad could not have the opportunity to have a worldwide fame
At the same time I think not having a CD makes Wust El Balad a unique band ... so you have to see and experience their beautiful down-to-earth parties

watching the football game " El Ahly vs El Zamalek " on the big screen before the show

our favourite Egyptian band has arrived

the show will start soon

the star of the night...Hany Adel

foreigners were enjoying their time

young audience

a group of girls I met were making a documentary film about Wust El Balad and talking about the problems Egyptian bands are facing today

people were amazed by the music

Ismail on the big screen

Assad Nessim concentrating and Hany Adel competing

the break

he is one of the biggest fans...he can not miss a concert of Wust El Balad

sitting on the grass and watching

ya salam aleek ya Adham

people do not want to go home

يا بيه...ده أنا فاهم كل حاجه

أنا البواب
بتاع النهارده
بتاع عصر التكنو- لوبيا
معايا موبايل
بكل الرنات
و البول- فول- نيك زنات
انا صعيدى أه
بس باكل عيش كزير
وبحب فيروز اناناس
و عندى دوش تمام
و بتفرج على المولدى
والجزيره كمان

Thumb up

I was crossing the street yesterday
and there was an old man with his family

they wanted also to cross the street
but cars were too fast

a young traffic policeman came

stopped the cars and crossed the street with us

then he did the same when we were crossing to the other side

Thank you policeman

There is nothing else to do man

Yesterday I wanted to go out with my friends...but as usual we had only these two boring choices...to go to the cinema or to sit in a cafe/restaurant...I have been doing that almost in all my weekends...this is a big problem for youth...they do not find anything exciting to do in the weekend...as a group of friends I mean...and this is more obvious in the middle class society...we can not spend a lot of money in a disco or in an expensive restaurant in a hotel...and at the same time we do not want to sit in a public cafe ( Ahwa Baladi ) or eat grilled corn in front of the shore of the river Nile...but what else can we do as a group of girls and boys in Cairo...mmm...eat hum hum hum and chat bla bla bla!!!! ...anyone has a new better idea...please inform us as soon as possible

878

878,that is enough,I can not stand that anymore,I can not write anything anymore,I am being strangulated,I tried to take control of this blog but everything has a limit,I am stuck in nowhere,I can feel my tongue but can't speak,I have an eye but have to consider myself blind,I have a mind that have to be shut off.

Please kill me

Cairo's traffic jam new world record: From my college I took 3 hours and 23 minutes to arrive home...it usually takes 8 minutes...what is today...today is Thursday...you do not know what happened today

Caviar

I am tired…really tired…I am on the edge…everything is useless…I do not know what I am doing…I do not understand what is going around me…this can not be the end of my dreams…my future plans…ahhh…all what I have planed…ahhh…am I eating a sandwich…I can not taste anything anymore…my wife…emmm…yeah…why is life so hard…ahhh…my children…I need help…my lovely children…but what can I do…Nancy Agram is so sweet…I need a cigarette…I am nothing…ahhh…I have to buy a mobile phone…aha…I am exhausted…aha...I want to go out of this country…no…I have to go out…but how…I want to go to America…huh…no…I want to go to…to…to Dubai…no …maybe Kuwait…but how…no no no...my neighbors…my family…my people…I can not leave them here…it is only for a short time…earn money…yeah…money and come back…start my independent business…Magdy is not better than me…I will…yes I am dumb… wait a minute…I am pathetic...but who is responsible for this

Six Feet Under

I only have watched the first two seasons…but I have to say that "Six Feet Under" is one of the most well written TV dramas I ever watched …I could not miss an episode…created by the Oscar winning writer of "American Beauty" Alan Ball digs in the soul of the human being and gives the meaning of life a new shape…it is so real…weird…dark…and funny...all the characters are 3 dimensional…and for me every episode was a lesson for life...and death

Egyptian Gandhuevara

The citizen is a fly crashing endlessly in the back window of a moving car

Don't be FRESH

My bathroom is not made of porcelain…and it is not the best place to take a shower when you wake up every morning…but I felt humiliated when the worker who came to fix the heater threw the cigarette on the floor …my bathroom is like the streets of Egypt…it is dirty yes …but that does not mean to throw things on the street just because we are sure this will not make the condition better if we throw it in a basket…do you smoke…no thank you I do not smoke and I know my bathroom is shit

Sandstorm in Cairo

Welcome back my dear

I missed you so much...uhu

I love you very much

Oho...I can not live without you...uhu ohu uho


I can not breathe without you..oho oho...alo

uhu... you have the same color like my skin...alo

Alo...alo...where are you...can you see me...uhu...can you hear me...alo

Never use condoms

She is happy…and Egypt is happy too…people need to be fed, need to have health care, need to find a place to live, need to be educated, need to find jobs, need to be transported … and babies need to be delivered...and as average life expectancy is rising every year and more people immigrate from other Egyptian cities to Cairo...I am sure we are going to face a much bigger disaster than we have today…the census result is surprisingly not the problem…the problem is in the way we live…we do not want and will not leave the Nile Delta unless we are forced to do that…I can not live in Basata alone...I believe that more than 70 million Egyptians live in 5% of Egypt’s total area…wow…great thing isn’t it…we do not want to think for our future until we forget our past…and present

شويه رمم قولالات الأدب متربوش

لأ دى الناس بجحت بجد... بقه ليها لسان تتكلم و تشتم... ايه اللى حصل فى مزرعتى ... مالناس كانت ساكته و وديعه و راضيين باللى همه فيه... ايه بقه اللى حصل... يعنى فجأه فائوا و نزلوا يلبخوا فى الشارع...خلاص بقت موضه حكايه الصويت و النوم فى الشارع... والا جلهم ذكاء مفاجىء و احنا مش حاسين... اكيد اعدوا يتفرجوا على الدش كتير... ايوه الدش ده هوه اللى وراهم اللى بيحصل فى البلاد التانيه... و قال ايه عاوزين يعملوه هنا... و لما وعدتهم بشويه حاجات بقوا طماعين... جشعين... يا جشعيييين... و وصلت انهم يشتمونى كمان... انا اتشتم... ديه اخرتها...لأ... بس هنا خلاص و كفايه... قال بقوا يعرفوا كلمه حقوق و عمالين طول النهار يولولوا بيها فى الشارع... اول ما بسمعها نفسى بتغم عليه و انا ما بقاش فيه صحه للحاجات الفرغه دي... يظهر ان ضرب الفليب فلوبس جاب نتيجه عكسيه و قضى على البلاهه و ضمور المخ اللى كان عندهم... يخرب بيت اللى اقترح عليه نظام الفليب فلوبس... لكن على مين... استنوا بس لما تشوفوا النظام الجديد بتاعى...نظام خلص و استريح

Happy Beat Ten Day

I think I will beat ten in the coming lesson
Are you crazy…are you not afraid that the teacher could know about it
No…because I will beat ten with my mind…so he will never know…can you do that
I will try it
And when are you going to beat ten today
I do not know…maybe before I go home…or before the lunch
But do not forget to beat ten today…you know…today everyone will beat ten…it is cool…so cool…isn’t it
Of course it is…I always wanted to have the beat ten day… imagine everyone beating ten…ha...and do you know why it’s unique …because it is only in our country
No…you are kidding
Yes…I am sure…we are the first country to have the beat ten day
But not all women will celebrate and beat ten today
Yeah…it will be hard for them…and for you of course…you will only beat seven…ha ha ha
Huh…And your father
My father has beaten ten before the breakfast…but I am sure most people will beat after work…to enjoy the beat ten day…I heard there will be great beat ten day parties at night…we should go out tonight
Yeah…
I do not understand why they did not make it a vacation … next year they have to make it an official national holiday
Especially for you…because next year you will be able to celebrate it for the first time in your life…ha ha ha
Yeah man…citizens need to have that day free… to celebrate and relax the beat ten day…
I do not need it…for me everyday is a beat ten day

Close your eyes

I was in the centre yesterday waiting for the private teacher to come...he is always late…students were going in and out …talking…laughing…shouting…but these two young men were so concentrated in their prayers-not affected by the noise and movements of the students -as if they were in another time and place...in another peaceful and calm world...when they came back from their soul journey they continued their work in the centre

11

لو لم اكن عاهره ، لوددت ان اكون مغتصبه

52

لو لم اكن يهوديا ، لوددت ان اكون ملحدا